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Procedural Changes at Consumatron.com

In case some of you aren’t aware.

Consumatron (.com and .net) is a one man job with collaborative tendencies. All of the posts that you see on these sites are written/filmed by yours truly. That one man sometimes feels like several men. The writer me reviews the purchases that the editor me makes. The photographer me collaborates with the writer me to spruce up each post. The videographer me works with the reporter me and the actor me to produce the new Consumatron Minute. The copy editor me works closely with the layout me to make sure everything looks right and that the site’s template is spitting the information at you in a manner that makes the spit seem like sprinkler water on a hot summer day. Finally, the editor-in-chief (who is quite the anal retentive one) makes sure that absolutely every purchase is reviewed and posted to the site in a timely fashion.

Our office is a cramped one, causing blow-out fights and some severely disastrous and drunken office parties, sometimes. Mostly, we get along. Our daily meetings are brief, and we tend to speak casually over coffee.

After over a year of a nearly perfect record, I’ve been able to convince the editor in chief me to cut the rest of us some slack.

From now on, purchases will be reviewed when consumed. This doesn’t seem like much of a change, but it is a world of difference to some of the employees here who have their hands in several of the operations all at once. All this means is that if editor me buys a can of black beans from Trader Joe’s (like he did a few days ago), the rest of us are no longer obligated to have black bean stew for dinner that evening. We will record the purchase and keep it on a list of articles to be published, but that article may not be written until photographer me gets hungry and decides to crack the can open later in the week.

If a review is published about a product that was not purchased on that very same day, a “Purchased on:” tag will appear in that review. (see example). This slightly less demanding way of doing things will allow for a few benefits:

1. Reviews of products may be published on Buy Nothing Days, thus keeping the site mobile for those of you who can’t wait to read the next thrilling review of everyday consumables.

2. More time will be available for the respective mes to work on the newly launched Consumatron Minute, thus providing you with the best minute we can muster.

3. More time will be available to work on reviews for Mediatron.

4. We will not cause serious health risks by forcing ourselves to eat every last thing editor me purchased while at the grocery store.

We hope this change in procedure will not be too jarring to our readers/viewers. Please direct any comments or questions to the ornery temp secretary me working at the front desk. (We’re not too sure how long he’s gonna last).

Thank You For Your Continued Readership,
-Publisher Me

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