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Coca-Cola Classic Soft Drink (20 oz.)

Item Purchased: Coca-Cola Classic Soft Drink (20 oz.)
Location Purchased: Dominick’s / 1340 S. Canal St. / Chicago, IL
Price: $1.43 + tax

Review: I’m not much for gut rot, but every once in a while, I will employ the use of a Coke as a stomach salve. There is something about this carbonated wonder that calms even the most furious indigestion. Unfortunately, this time, it didn’t work. That’s not a knock on Coca-Cola as a product, but rather, a testament to the force of nature my digestive system becomes when food poisoning strikes.

Of all the syrup filled colas that pick you up with a quick shot of caffeine, bring you down with the lingering effects of sugar and help your bones deteriorate with a dollop of phosphoric acid, Coca-Cola is the one that tastes the best. Unlike the sticky sugar bowl taste of most other colas like Pepsi, Coke’s carbonation balances out the sweetness of the high fructose corn syrup contained inside the beverage. Comparing the two is like comparing black coffee to Kool-Aid.

Naturally, I have severe qualms with supporting a large corporation who traded with the Nazis during WWII (alongside Henry Ford) and dumps pesticides into their consumable product, but every once in a while, I buckle. As for accusations that Coke contributes to worldwide obesity, I disagree. People who drink four Coke products a day contribute to worldwide obesity.

I enjoy the occasional Coke now and then and proudly own a 7″ record of “I’d Like To Teach The World To Sing.”

Rating: 3 / 5

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